signs of stress

heavy breathing
lack of energy/ being fatigued
not wanting to be productive
thinking negatively
giving pissed off responses
cheating on my diet



im really stressed right now. I suck at handling stress.

practice log

practice log

nov 11 2008 4 hours

nov 12 2008
230-330
740 - 840
35 min of physical playing
955 - 1023
20 minutes of physical playing

The rest of the time i was resting my muscles...hmm more about this later

Nothing to update for a while

I didnt really have anything to say, which is kinda bad. Now i do. I randomly got that desire i once had to practice. It feels fucking great. A lot of things have interfered with me wanting to practice, and it comes down to one thing...STRESS. The biggest forms of stress are my parents, weight lifting, and work. On top of that, when im stressed i try to do things that are easy so i can relax. I relax to get rid of stress. I did too much of that. Today i dont have work, and I think it is impacting my day a whole lot. Also by just relaxing and not focusing on something like guitar it makes me even more stressed out because i need to practice. Ive played for a good 2 hours now, and my hands are starting to get tired...boooo. Im gonna try to get up to 4. I want to keep this up. I feel like i will start improving like crazy once again.

that was a quick break

So i did my best not to think about guitar. Then i was so bored and felt so empty. I went for yet another walk just to get shit off my mind. Came home and got on my guitar. It was a cool feeling. Then after an hour or two my fingertips started hurting. Now im aching to play again

I just need a break

Im pressuring myself too much to play and to be really really good. I work terrible under pressuer. Its one thing to push myself, its another to pressure myself. So i am taking a break from practicing guitar. Trying my best not to think about it. Its hard when i see the callouses on my left hand fading. Also need a break from death metal hmmmm

random update

ok So i am in the middle of listening to summoning's oathbound. I just got done listening to blackfield. I feel like im high right now. Not that ive smoked weed or anything. I feel very laid back, relaxed, and zoning out. I am listening to music thats spacey sounding, but very capturing at the same time. I feel like this is what feeling high is supposed to be about. WHenever i have gotten high, it has never felt like this. Thus I believe that music is what makes me high.

Learning a bunch of jazz chords lately.

I recently had time to jam with my brother and ricky. Jamming is so liberating to me now. I only get to practice and play by myself and all that, but man when im playing with someone else, i just let everything flow. I also noticed my overall technique has improved greatly. Im so happy. My hands looks so fucking relaxed its great. I also never get any pain in my left hand like i used to. My pinky sitll needs a slight bit of work, otherwise my fingers look very well curved as they should be.

Just in a great mood tonight, tired, relaxing, thoughtful, captured by music.

Bass guitar, visions, etc

Ok. I borrowed my friend's bass guitar and have been playing it a lot. Its pretty different from guitar. I have a lot of fun playing with my fingers and i love its overall timbre. Its literally like a whole new world, and its fun as hell. I basically use the rules for classical guitar picking and apply them to bass, it works like a charm. I can work on what i play on guitar to get better at bass as well.
I have also been thinking about adding bass to my own music. Especially when I have been playing guitar. Ive had many different bass ideas. I already started to make up my own song on bass too. Thus i have decided to buy one for myself

Onto guitar before i forget. Ive been learning some cool technical songs. Im learning this classical intro to In My Own Greed by SPawn of Possession. Once i get it down im going to add in rests, and rhythm variations as there would be in jazz, just to have some fun. Im changing up my practice routine nearly 100%. Im going back to playing more than practicing, but its more of a practice-play. I will improvise and jam on stuff but make exercises out of it or incorporate the exercises i need to work on. It makes it a lot more fun and practical. Im also not recording my practice time. It just gets me so unmotivated. It makes it seem more of a chore when i do it that way. Since then i have been picking up the guitar more often than not, so im glad to see it working. I have been noticing improvement again as well.

One thing i started working on was my left hand's finger placement. It seems like the way to be very accurate is to press the middle of your fingertip onto the string in order that no flesh touches the fingerboard. I should be able to look down at my finger and see passed the gutar. Im finding this makes it much easier not to slip. I think you get a better sound from it, but I am not sure of that. Im not sure of any other benefits but this feels better and more accurate to me. I shall contemplate the benefits more and more as time goes on.

Now...onto a rather strange topic. For a while now I have been getting visions as i listen to music. I did not realize this until somewhat recently though, perhaps a year ago. When i get very familiar with an album or band and I listen to it, i picture things in my head. A lot of the times its a swarm of colors that make other colors that dont exist in our spectrum. I also see textures and "forces". If you give me an album i can tell you what colors it brings up and the cool thing is each time it will be the same. I have tested myself on ceratin albums and they all bring up the same colors. I also see my guitar strings different colors depending on what i play. When I play for a long time and put my guitar down, i can in a way see them still very vibrant with colors. For instance, my low e string is red, and A string is blue, my high e is a bright silver/white. Im not sure of the others just yet. These come and go at different times sometimes.

Ive been listening to music i usually dont. More death metal, jazz, and other random stuff. Its been very fulfilling.