I was hanging with Dom for Miles Davis- death metal night. We were going to play 1 disc from the Cellar Door Sessions and one death metal album until it was complete. Well, we got through disc 1 and From Wisdom to Hate and by then he had downloaded Coltrane's Live in Japan. On this was a 57 minute version of My Favorite Things, which for those that don;'t know, is th eone theme that never seems to leave my head. I feel it is a part of me.It has been many months since I first heard it, and since then I have had it stuck in my head regularly. I do in fact obsess over it. It is powerful. Anyway, We took a 10 minute break and began the journey. It started out with a bass solo to introduce the song. Great Segway. Then Coltrane said hello and worked the theme. Then came the solos. This is when everyone spoke their minds. They communicated and reacted. it was there, everything! Unison, formation, transcendation. I became one with this experience. By this time the lights were turned off. I was happy, I felt like a part of me was being expressed as well. I closed my eyes from time to time. Each closing created a link between us all. Me, Dom, and Coltrane's band, the audience. I was there, inside the "music." I was one with the experience. The experience that was captured on a cd through the self proclaimed group. Once I was linked to this experience, they created, the visions started to flow. I have talked about these visions with friends. I visualize in my mind when interacting with music. these were by far the most vivid visuals I had ever seen. As if it was LSD induced, but it was totally natural. My mind was on a path, looking through the glass (time frame) that separated me from the group. Things were being unlocked in such a basic form. This is expression. This is what I mean when i call myself an artist. This is what I try to project. The music I heard was live in nearly every way. I heard, felt, saw, tasted, and smelled the intricate communicative expression from My Favorite Things. This spawned something new inside of me which will be discussed later.
It is said that Coltrane started to make the sax multiphnoic later on in his life. I could never believe such a thing, not until last night. I truly heard it. The sax was not a sax, it was the essence of being, of Coltrane's being.Coltrane broke through the sax. He projected himself through it causing it to erupt with all matter of his mind. i saw this. In a way, he beat the sax. It's as if all his life is was an enemy, it restricted his mind, but he overcame that and he restricted the saxophone. It was his essence of being. i won't even begin to describe his soloing any further for I fear my words are not grande enough, though this experience has changed me deeply...
I have an aim in life, not a purpose, but an aim. I was slowly coming to this conclusion, but this experience opened the portal within me to see that view. I can see myself. I can know that I want to go to a new level with what I do. That level is knowing myself. I have taken my first step in knowing myself. It has taken me 20 years. I see myself. That is my first stepping stone that has been uncovered. So, how has this changed me? Well, firstly, I have a greater understanding of myself. I also want to reach outside of my body. I want to project myself through my projects. I want to be felt and encapturing when performing. I want to shed my skin for it is just a layer covering what could be a soul (prior to this I never would have mentioned anything about a soul). I want to come alive with no restriction and only be limited by want, unwant, known and unknown. I am becoming one with myself and am realizing what it means to be (illustrated in various forms). From last night, I found out the true meaning of being and that it can be done. it has been done. That is the highest place of being. The ascension and expression. With this newly found knowledge, I am starting to become less and less responsive to the world outside of the relationship of my self knowing. I want to explore myself and my persona. I want to be and experience and absorbed by my self.
Death is a passage....perhaps thats where Coltrane decided to go
I want to fly to the outer edge of the gigantic cliff
and plummet downward.
Once I find what's there I will fly elsewhere and anywhere
my mind desires.
Pick me up to fly
one the backs of birds.
I desire to be.
I will one day learn to carry myself up as those before me did
I will transcend in snake form, slithering through
time
and manipulating my
every move to react, become one with and experience
the energy that cycles through my mind, body and the perception of space.
Space is a perception, symbolizing energy in vast forms
incomprehensible by the brain.
I will wail through the journey, traveling where no road can ever be thought of to go.
I will do more than transcend and realized and learn and express and do.
I will be.
At one within the timeless, concept-less cycle of energy/being, mind and body.
Disrupting no other, uniting with all others.
Like a bird on its way to the sun.
Or a snake on its way to the moon. I am beyond will and experience.
I simply am.
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The Color of Mirrors. That is going to be the name to my second Album. Going back to what I said before about how I can see myself, I feel that's the perfect transition to starting this album. That is what I saw. I saw the color of my mirror. It was a blend of all that I described plus more! This will all be translated very soon as I already have 5 songs for the album
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