An Ethereal Guitarist's Path

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I don't feel like having any dreams...Off day?**

Ok, so right now I feel like I don't want to chase all my dreams and goals, and I just think whats the point, who cares? Why do I wanna be this top star or something super super amazing in what I do? Anyone can do it so does it really set me apart? no. Is this going to make me happy? I don't know. May be I should set my sights high but keep my goals short and sweet. I was talking to Frank and found out that he got a degree in electrical engineering, and he didn't even want to be a dancer/teacher, but it just happened

I can be a dancer, instructor, guitarist, martial artist, personal trianer, bodybuilder, powerlifter, but do I really want to be all those things? I feel sick of art. Even just listening to music again. I don't care about these bands that are out there. Ok, you made some cool songs and? What music used to do to me, it doesn't do anymore. Do I want to start focusing on academics now? Who knows. I don't care enough to try to impress people anymore. I can only definitely impress myself, and unless others know my whole story would they truly be impressed. And may be they wouldn't be because their story is ten times harder than me. Why Do I keep comparing myself to everyone, is that making me miserable? Maybe. I do admit I get jealous of other people and at least wanted to be where everyone else is at some point. I guess now that I am moving there I am not so sure I want to do that, because in reality it is not me or my perspective, it is them/theirs.

I still feel lost in this world. What do I want out of life?

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