Here we go again...could this be another phase? May be these phases are signs to tell me my path is wrong. All my life I have felt the need and will to play guitar and to write music. Now I feel like it may be coming to a halt. I am so confused about writing and creating that I dont even know what questions to start asking. The act of playing and doing what I do is fun....but what about the art of creating? May be I am creating for the wrong reasons. What more is there? Is it that I just want a chance to perform? Well I have performed before (open mics, nothing big) and it was exactly how I expected it to be. May be a performance art is not what I should be involved in. Or may be I should just not perform, or think about it.
I had a dream...It was dark, I was up in CT supposedly where my grandparents live. We were all at a party and these people one of my friends knew came to the house in vans. All dressed in black with guns and knives. All they wanted to do was kill everyone/terrorize them because of something stupid my friend had said. So I was in close contact with two of my friends and I tried to survive on my own....and I EASILY did. I was smart about where to hide, when to move, how to move. I pretty much kept hiding in different blocks/areas of the neighborhood. I wasn't even scared in my dream. I was just doing what I had to do. In the end, I was one of the very few who did not end up getting hurt, and then the "evil ones" left. I didn't feel bad that I came out virtually unscathed. I felt like I should. Confident. Not proud, not happy, not thankful, not grateful. I just felt like this strong person.
What information can I get from this? This could metaphorically represent my musical journey to this date. I am not sure where to go from here. Should I pick up a new medium, should I drop guitar? WHY? Why would I do that? what would it change? I would still be the same person.
An Ethereal Guitarist's Path
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