An Ethereal Guitarist's Path

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

New Beginnings? What is my purpose?

My purpose is to embody the expression of love from one another through sound, movement, pleasure, contact, and communication.

Now, where is this all coming from? I have been lost recently, which has probably happened as a result of many factors. However, I am on the path to getting myself back and realizing what it is that I love. I felt enlightened for a period of time, but that does not mean much if I don't take that and keep it and update it. I saw an exercise on a website that basically said to take 20 minutes (approximation of course) and write an answer to the question, "What is my purpose?" and keep writing answers until you find the one that makes you cry. That is what I did and I would like to copy what I wrote in just a minute. I did not find the answer that made me cry, because I know I am not going to cry from finding something like this out, especially because I believe I already knew it, but just forgot about it/lost it. After taking time to meditate I found the answer that truly resonated within me and the one that metaphorically made me cry. That answer was the above. Here is how my exercicse went:

What is my purpose in life?
to be
to become
to write beautiful music
to fulfill myself
to connect with others
to express happiness
to be strong
to be a great dancer
to bodybuild and look and feel sexy
I want to be free
I want to connect with the world
to transcend limitations
to evoke the emotions I feel from listening to music through writing my own
to be adaptable
to grow and surpass others
to share myself with others
to love myself and people
to actively love
to feel love
to feel arms holding me
to give myself up to someone
to dream, to live my dream
to create a world of happiness
to live in love with someone
to live in varying degrees of love with people
to be loved
to feel love, received and given
to become lost (as when I meditate with music) with a female
to share a blissful feeling of love with a woman
to physically experience how love feels and embody another person
to embody personal love
to seek love through sound, movement, pleasure, contact of another being as well as from within myself

My purpose is to embody the expression of love from one another through sound, movement, pleasure, contact, and connection.

I easily cut out all the superficial stuff rather quickly, all the things that bear no - little meaning. I started dealing with real words/concepts that I could feel strongly with. then I hit the central theme of love, and I very much want to love and be loved. However, the ways in which I want to be loved and love are what matters. From this exercise I have learned that my true passion/art/connection is love. My mediums are what I mentioned above, sound, movement, pleasure, contact, and connection. Now to make those more practical/rational we can separate and categorize them. Before I do that, however I want to just make a point, that this answer is nothing new or surprising. In fact it goes to deal with the very essence of every human soul. It is just specifically individual to me because I am the one that came up with the answer. All of these represent the 5 senses and the core of an also bridges the gap between 0 and 1. By that I mean without anyone, we are nothing, but when we are fully embodied by another, we are one (with that person). Thus the 5 senses are what hold us together. People are always looking to satisfy their senses. Beyond the need for survival, that is what comes next. Some of us like to do so in shocking contexts or some crazy method, but not everyone does. And many people want to please the senses in smaller easier ideas. So for me, it breaks down as so:

Sound- hear
movement- see
pleasure- taste/smell
contact- feel
connection- love

This formula should be applied to two or more people. For me specifically, I want someone who wants to fulfill all 5 senses in that way. These 5 senses are my mediums for art and creating. I have been thinking too strictly about my passions. I would think, what medium should I use to create music? Wrong. What medium should I use to please my (and others') sense of hearing? That is a much more definite and strong answer. Get the idea?

Sound- I want to produce music/sound that I and others enjoy. I want to enjoy the music/sound others create.

Movement- I want to produce visual art in some form (photography, dancing, drawing, painting, animation etc etc) that others can relate to and feel good about watching. In the same respect I want to watch things that make me feel good.

Pleasure- I want to taste and smell that which makes me aroused or gives me the feeling of being high other than from listening and watching. I want to experience this from others.

Contact- I want to feel the touch of other people in a way that shines on my self and body. I want to give the most endearing touch to others.

Connection- I want to love and be loved.

these I refer to as the 5 suns, and on a female or someone who I am greatly attracted to/in love with they are the 5 moons. These opposites attract and in the middle is the core of strength and balance. Sound familiar? Magnets, the earth. Life is formulaic. We all are part of a mold so it is just a matter of filling the mold to our liking. We are all part of the same organism.
so where does this leave me with my guitar playing, dancing, and bodybuilding? I still have some thinking to do about all that...but I think I need to create that which others can enjoy equally as myself because that is my purpose.

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