An Ethereal Guitarist's Path

Sunday, June 12, 2011


I have to do me! I feel too pressured and conflicted when people expect more than that from me. I have to do me and all I can ask is that people understand that. I think this is why I have been so indecisive and I think I am going through a critical turning point in m y life. I have never trusted myself or my actions. I am finally learning what it means to be a free adult. All my years before this I have been restricted by parents, family, society, friends, and most of all myself. I have been living on my own since february. So that is a total of 4 months. This has been a huge period of indecisiveness because for the first time, my brain is working independently to develop self trust. I am only one person and how the hell can one person please everyone around them? They either can't or they can by just being themselves and hopefully friends and family will understand, support, and accept that. Isn't that what friends and family are for? I think so. When my friends and family are accepting in that nature, it really reassures that I am doing the right thing- in this case being and trusting myself. Only in these last few months of my life have I started to realize what it means to be myself. I am not quite there yet and think it will take a good year or so to reach that level. Finally, all this indecisiveness is dwindling and I am welcoming that. I have to trust myself to be free and love life.

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